a kids play

WHERE YOUR AT.

BY BD & CK

Act 1 scene 1 chorus with Ash.

Ash: We are at the beginning of a magicial journey. As you start traveling down the road of life, remember this: there are never enough comfort stops. The places you are going are never on a map. And once you get that map out, you won’t be able to refold it no matter how smart you are. So forget the map, roll down the windows, and whenever you can, pull over and have a picnic with a Princess.

Act 1 scene 2 Princess Rose and Crom Goth
What happens? Princess Rose meets the Alien Crom Goth and after some bickering they become friends.

Princess Rose: Ohhhhh, my stomach. I should never have eaten that burnt toast last night. I always say that burnt toast does not agree with a Princess’ stomach. Well, I’ll just have to get the servants to clean up the mess I made in the royal washroom, that’s what it’s like to be me, never a dull moment. Who am I? Why I’m Princess Rose and this better be a bad dream.

Princees Rose lies down on floor and falls asleep. Enter Cron Goth

Cron Goth: Humans bow down before me.

Princess Rose: Daddy I never gave the horse your crown. I swear.

Crom Goth: I am not your Daddy. I am Crom Goth the Conqueror.

Princess Rose: Well I am Princess Rose the tired, so get out boggy man.

Crom Goth: I am no boggy man. You will lead me to your king.

Princess Rose: Get out of my castle before I send my guards to get you.

Cron Goth: Cron Goth is afraid of no guards, bow down before me.

Princess Rose: Guards! Guards! Guards!

Cron Goth: Where is your King? He will knell before Crom.

Princess Rose: Mom Dad call the Army an alien is in the Castle.

Cron Goth: I’m no ordinary Alien I’m a Prince.

Princess Rose: You a prince I don’t believe it! Guards!

Cron Goth: Well I don’t believe you are a Princess! Guards!

Princess Rose: What are you doing?

Cron Goth: Waiting for your pretend guards to show up.

Princess Rose: You think that I’m lying. That I am lying. How dare you!

Cron Goth: In my world we would call you a malarker, a nottly malarker.

Princess Rose: Well In my world. And this is my world they call Me Princess Rose!

Cron Goth: Say it don’t splanaker it!

Princess Rose: Well I never! Guards! Where are those guards?

Cron Goth: What a malarker.

Princess Rose: Wait it’s Monday night.

Crom Goth: What is Monday night?

Princess Rose: They always watch the jousting matches on Monday night.

Crom Goth: What are Jousting matches.

Princess Rose: Help, help, help!

Cron Goth: Maybe you are a princess. Back on Orkon we captured a Morkon Princess and she was the only thing that scared me. That is before you.

Princess freezes, circles the alien, and then speaks.

Princess Rose: You are afraid of me?

Cron Goth: Yes you do. If I weren’t would I just stand here? I would slambazzle your kanazzle into oblivion.

Princess Rose: Well you should be afraid of me. I am an unguarded princess who else in what kingdom would let their only daughter be left alone unprotected and….

Starts to cry.

Cron Goth: What is this? What are you doing? Is the water from of your crombots going to destroy me?

Princess rose: What? No, no, no, just let have a minute.

Cron Goth: What is a minute?

Princess rose: I need to be alone Crom Goth can you visit me again some other time?

Crom Goth: Crom Goth suppose to take over earth tomorrow, how about next day?

Princess Rose: Come to dinner. I’d love my parents and the especially the guards to meet you.

Princess Rose presents her hand and Crom Goth licks it.

Crom Goth: Ummm.

Princess shakes her head and both walk in separate directions.

Freeze

Act 1 scene 3 Chorus Sizzling joe, Anna Roseleaf mimes as Chorus talks.

Sizzling Joe: This is Anne With an E. Not Ann with an N. Painting her passion she is always in fashion. What is happening here? Happens because of her brush. She flicks some red here, some brown there and bang….A masterpiece before your eyes. This is her surprise. Or is it a dream. It’s not as easy as it seems.

Anne Roseleaf: I love to paint. La la la. La la la. La la la.

Act 1 scene 4 Emma, Roxxi, Momo and Annna

What happens? Anna meets the three animals and paints a beautiful picture of the three.

Enter Emma, Momo and Roxxi
Hamster, Dog and tiger run around stage even sniffing Anna as she paints.

Roxxi: Try and catch me Emma.

Emma: No you try and catch me.

Momo: Roar! Will you too be quiet I think I might just curl up here and take a nice…Ahhh, nap.

Momo goes to take a nap. Anne starts to quietly walk into scene and paint the Tiger sleeping while Roxxi and Emma watch.

Roxxi: What is she doing?

Emma: I don’t know is she dancing with a stick?

Roxxi: I love fetching sticks make her throw it.

Emma: Shhhh. You’ll wake Momo.

Anna continues to paint momo wakes up.

Momo: Roar! What are you doing? How dare you…You…What are you doing with that stick and red mud?

Anna smiles is calm and talks happily to Momo

Anna: Why I’m painting a beautiful scene. With you in between. That dog and that rat.

Emma: I’m not a rat! I’m a hamster. I’m Emma the hamster.

Anna: Hamster to meet you…Emma.

Emma: That’s funny. She’s funny.

Roxxi: Well I’m Roxxi the dog and I think your picture is great but can you make me jump higher that that?

Emma: And me can you make me look bigger?

Anna: Sure with a flick here and here and bang…you’re a bigger than life.

Momo stomps over and looks at painting.

Momo: What’s all this?

Anna: A painting

Momo: Who said you could do this? Roxxi?

Roxxi: I didn’t see the harm.

Emma: It’s really nice.

Momo: Roar! How dare you I was asleep.

Anna: I didn’t want to wake you.

Emma: It’s quite good.

Roxxi: You really should…

Anna: Just look…

Momo: No.

Anna: You are really quite beautiful.

Emma and Roxxi: Please look

Momo looks at painting says nothing for a long while looks and looks and looks and finally

Momo: Well it’s pretty good… great actually..I look beautiful and Majestic and…

Emma: Asleep.

Roxxi: I think you are snoring. Can you put some zzzzz above Momo’s head?

Momo: hahaha. Roar!

Anna: Is there anything you would like in the picture?

Momo: Why yes. Put some Porcupines casing Roxxi and Emma. Those over there should do.

Roxxi and Emma run and run hiding behind a tree.

Momo: hahahahahaha…ahhhhh.hahahahaha.

Emma: Monkey! Monkey! Watch out for the monkey Momo you know you’re afraid of them.

Monkey starts to walk towards momo.

Momo does not believe it. Anna continues to paint.

Momo: I’m not falling for that one…No…I am king of this forest…I am the bravest of the beasts I am…Oh my! Oh my! Monkey!

Runs and hides behind Emma and Roxxi. Monkey grabs Anna’s hand and they walk away together.

FREEZE

Act 2 scene 1 chorus Lady Lauren

Lady Lauren: In life and in dreams there are no rules and those are the rules. Here come and see the battle between good and evil-Toast and those who don’t like toast.

Exit Lady Lauren

Act 2 Scene 2 Doctor Spot, Ferocious frog and Sizzling Joe.

What happens? Super hero vs Super villain as a piece of toast tries to talk some sense into them.

Doctor Spot and Ferocious enter chasing each other circling the various frozen characters. Slowly Sizzling Joe Enters not amused one bit.

Doctor Spot: You are weak compared to the powers of Doctor Spot.

Ferocious Frog: Come here and say that to my Fire breath

Blows fire breath

Doctor Spot: I can do more. Watch this.

Throws spot power crystals from pocket into the sky.

Ferocious frog: Watch me use my spike power.

Doctor spot: Wait till doctor surprise comes and then you’ll be sorry.

Ferocious frog: Spike my Rhino sidekick will easily defeat Mr. surprise.

Sizzling Joe grabs frog and Doctor spot and brings them to the front of stage.

Sizzling Joe: Will you two knock it off. Here shake hands and be friends. Go on.
I mean it. Here have some toast. Everyone loves toast.

Both take toast and then begin to battle again.

Sizzling Joe: Enough! I’m a simple toaster maker. I collect breadcrumbs. I have few complaints. I fall asleep on the wrong side of the toaster.
But you two have got to stop this. We are in big trouble.

Both: How do you mean?

Both: We both are fighting.

Both: We both love to fight.

Both: We have no problem.

Start running around again.

Doctor Spot: Feel my spot power, the whole police force of Mayhem City falls before me.

Ferocious Frog: Never! That City is free from you forever!

Sizzling Joe: Stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Both Freeze

Sizzling Joe: Where are we? Do you know where we are? Why we are here? Why the three of us are together? Why Doctor Spot is not with Mr. Surprise? Why Rhino is not here Frog? Why a piece of toast is talking to you? Well do you?

Both: No.

Both: Maybe it’s a mystery.

Both: Yeah.

Ferocious Frog: If good defeats evil something good always happens.

Doctor spot: You mean when Evil defeats good something expensive is always stolen.

The two begin to battle again. Sizzling Joe grabs a lasso and ties the two together and brings them to centre stage.

Sizzling Joe: What do you remember last?

Both: What?

Sizzling Joe: What do you remember last?

Both: I don’t know.

Sizzling Joe: I was fixing a toaster.

Doctor spot: Wait.

Sizzling Joe: Yes Spot.

Doctor Spot: I was robbing a bank with Mr. Surprise… I went home…and ate some burnt toast.

Sizzling Joe: And you Frog?

Doctor spot: Burnt Toast?

Ferocious Frog: Me and Rhino were battling a super cat and…

Doctor spot: Super Cat. hahaha.

Sizzling Joe: Spot be quiet.

Ferocious frog: And before I went to bed I ate some burnt toast!

Both: You, you sent us here.

Doctor Spot: With your potion filled burnt toast. And nowwe are here.

Sizzling Joe: The two have nothing to do with each other.

Ferocious Frog: Oh yeah, Rhino never had burnt toast. He hates toast.

Sizzling Joe: Hates toast?

Doctor Spot: And Dr. Surprise only eats Porridge, never toast.

Sizzling Joe: Never Toast! How dare they!

The Two start to walk slowly towards Sizzling Joe, they freeze and Anna the painter strolls with monkey holding hand starts painting them and then goes off stage.

Act 2 scene 3 chorus Crom Goth:

Crom Goth:
It’s not east bein’ brown
Havin’ to spend each day the color of chocolate bars, When I think it might be nicer being red, or yellow, or gold or something more colorful than that.
But brown is the color of A bear. And Brown can be calm and friendly like. And brown is like the bark on a tree or important like a desert or a farmer’s field.
When Brown is all there is to be, It could make you wonder, why, but why wonder, why wonder? I am brown, and it’ll do fine and I think it’s what I want to be.

Act 2 Scene 4 Ash, Lady Lauren, Mr. Suprise

What happens? Ash is frustrated at the possibility that he is lost forever. Lady Lauren and Mr. surprise argue about why each of them are here in this strange place.

Enter Ash

Ash: She’ll beat you.

Enter Mr. Surprise

Mr. Surprise: What do you mean?

Enter Lady Lauren

Lady Lauren: He means Superheroes always win.

Ash: That’s right unless your facing Ash the Alligator Wrestler. And Thunderbolt maker.

Mr. Surprise: Has anyone seen Doctor Spot? I can’t reach him on my shoe phone.

Lady Lauren: Doctor Spot? Isn’t he in jail?

Mr. Surprise: How dare you. Feel my S ring power…

Lady Lauren: I heard he was captured by the crime league?

Mr. Surprise: Feel my S power…

Lady Lauren: Or Did Ferocious Frog stop him?

Mr. Surprise: My S power is not working…This must be a bad dream.

Ash: I will Thunderbolt the two of you if you don’t tell me where we are?

Mr. Surprise: You think he was Captured by Ferocious Frog?

Ash: Where are we?

Mr. Surprise: Next you’ll tell me a piece of toast sent us here.

Ash: I love toast. Especially when it’s burnt.

Lady Lauren: Why are we here? Have you something to steal? Is that it?

Ash: Ash is growing impatient. I will thunderbolt the both of you!

Both: Be quiet!

Mr. Surprise: Perhaps you are sent here to prevent me from helping Doctor Spot?

Ash: Enough! I bolt you!

The two dive out of the way get back up and resume conversation as Ash stomps the ground.

Lady Lauren: Is there some piece of art here that you want to steal?

Mr. surprise: What? Are you mad. Where is this art?

Lady Lauren: Maybe kidnap an artist like you did in mayhem city till they gave all those watercolors to you.

Mr. Surprise: That’s ridiculous; I would never do that without my doctor Spot.

Lady Lauren: Maybe your greedy. Maybe you know exactly where we are.

Ash: I bolt you!

They both duck and fall away to floor rolling to the side.

Ash: I have been very patient. I have Alligators to tame. I miss my home. This is no place for a boy like me. Send me back now or I’ll bolt the two of you.

Mr. Surprise: Is that your answer for everything? Even I a super villain can be patient sometimes.

Lady Lauren: He has a point. An evil don’t trust him point, but a point. Be patient Ash, please.

Ash: Ok. What next?

Freeze

Act 3 scene 1 chorus Doctor Spot

Doctor Spot: We have all had dreams. Good ones, bad ones, silly ones, unexplained ones, ones we can remember, ones we’d like to forget; but have you ever had one with twelve characters at the same time I doubt it quite one bit.

Act 3 scene 2 everyone.

What happens? The mystery is solved. All is well. And everyone is happy with Anna’s painting.

unfreeze

All stand perfectly still. Wait some more. Look around. They see Anna walking around painting.

All: Hey, Let’s ask her.

All: Why are we here?

Anna: Well that is a question. A good one to ask. A task for a Wiseman. A good one just passed.

All: what are you talking about?

Anna: May I paint you three with those animals?

All: Well where are we?

Anna: Why you are where you are and where you are is where you need to be. Don’t you see that that is always the way it is to be?

All: Huh?

Lady Lauren: We are, where we are and where we are is where we need to be? That is the way it is always to be?

Anna: That’s right.

Ash: We are…. where we are…. and where we are…. is where we need to be.

Mr. Surprise: that is the way…. it is always to be.

Anna: Exactly.

All: Ok.

Anna: Come, meet the animals, we can play and paint.

The three walk over pet the animals and begin to talk to the other characters.

Mister Surprise: So you’re a tiger? How do you like that?

Momo: You’re a human wearing a weird cape how do you like that?

Mister Surprise: Nice talking to you. Can we go now? I need to find Doctor spot?

Anna: He’s fine where he is.

Mister Surprise: You know where he is?

Anna: He’s with a frog and a piece of Toast.

Mister Surprise: Ferocious Frog?

Lady Lauren: Sizzling Joe?

Ash: Who?

Mister Surprise: I’m Mr. Surprise; tell me how to find him?

Lady Lauren: I think you better wait. She doesn’t care you’re a super villain only about painting and play.

Ash: This is strange. What’s going on dog?

Roxxi: My name is Roxxi, and Anna is sweet. Don’t you dare hurt her or we’ll get Momo mad and you don’t want that do you.

Ash: I’m an alligator trainer and no tiger….

Lady Lauren: Will you two please just let the lady paint us and then you can leave. Is that ok Anna?

Anna: You can leave at any time. I just thought it would be fine to paint you with some friends of mine.

Mister Surprise: Ok, ok you win paint away.

As they paint the Princess come in hand and hand with Crom Goth….

Princess Rose: We’re getting married.

All: Who are you?

Anna: That’s Princess Rose and King Crom Goth.

All: You’re a King?

Crom Goth: I am king. She will be my queen we will rule Orkon.

All: Orkon.

Mr. Surprise: Ok I’m out of here.

Anna: Congratulations Princess would you like to be in the painting?

Princess Rose: Only if Crom is in it.

All: Sure.

Emma: What are you?

Crom Goth: I am a Orkonite I live millions of earth miles from here.

Roxxi: Wow. Super Cool.

Princess Rose: I hope this is not a dream I never have been so happy.

Mr. Surprise: Never been so happy has she seen this guy?

Momo: Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? You must be because I don’t see any other tigers here.

Mr. Surprise: Don’t be so dramatic.

Lady Lauren: He’s just sad because his best buddy likes Frogs and toast more than him.

Mr. Surprise: Doctor Spot would never do that.

Ash: He is evil.

Lady Lauren: Very evil.

Both: Super duper evil.

Mr. Surprise: Could he have done that?

Princess Rose: Wait where is my horse? I always have a horse? We must go back for my horse.

Crom Goth: As you wish my Queen.

Crom Goth and princess leave

Ash: When is this painting done?

Anna: You can go Ash. And all the animals. Go play somewhere.

All: Bye,,RoaR..BYE…BYE..

Exit Ash, momo, Emma, roxxi

Enter Sizzling Joe being chased by Ferocious Frog and Doctor Spot.

Ferocious Frog: Stop Toast you’ll never escape Ferocious Frog with my fire breath.

Doctor Spot: I think you mean Doctor Spot and his Spot Power there Frog.

Ferocious Frog: No my fire breath and spikes can do the job thank you very much.

Doctor Spot: You really think you’re better than me just because you can breath fire? Well I have spot power that is ten times better than any old fire.

Ferocious Frog: Prove it.
:
Doctor Spot: I don’t have to. I’m Doctor Spot. The most…

Sizzling Joe: Will you two be quiet. And look around you. Where are we now and who are these people?

Both: Hello.

Mr. Surprise: Doctor Spot?

Doctor Spot: Mr. Surprise?

Mr. Surprise: Is that really you?

Doctor Spot: But I thought you were some place else stealing without me?

Mr. Surprise: And I thought maybe you were doing the same thing.

Both: Come here buddy,

They hug

Ferocious Frog: Did you guys just hug?

Lady Lauren: I believe they did.

Sizzling Joe: Did anyone take a picture of that, that show of goodness.

Doctor Spot: We are not good we are evil.

Mr. Surprise: We steal and rob and do evil things.

Both: We sleep evil, eat evil and are evil.

All: I don’t think so.

Anna: It will make a lovely painting. I think I’ll call it Hugs from Thugs.

Lady Lauren: So what now?

Sizzling Joe: Yes what now?

Lady Lauren: You can tell us how you sent us all here with those magical toast powers!

Mister Surprise: Lady Lauren with all evil respect we were wrong about Joe his toast never sent Doctor Spot here.

Ferocious Frog: And Rhino never came here either.

Lady Lauren: Well if Joe never did then who?

All look at Anna painting peacefully, all the characters start to surround her and then the animals come in and protect her and she calmly lays down her brush mimes moving the canvas facing towards the stage, the audience is the canvas.

All the characters start looking out towards the audience….

Princess Rose: Why that’s me. I’m on my horse. I’m so happy and free. I look beautiful. Like a dream.
Thank you Anna.

Momo: And look there is the three of us down in the forest playing games and moving about. Look at you jump Roxxi. Look at you run Emma chasing Roxxi’s freebie why it’s as big as you.

All three: Thank you Anna.

Sizzling Joe: Look at you two chasing each other up there in the sky flying around. As if you guys could fly. But it is quite the sight, And there’s me making toasters, gee that’s a great looking toaster the biggest toaster I’ve ever seen just like the one I dream of.

Ash: Wow look at that alligator a thousand feet high and I’m taming it. So cool. And you Mr. Surprise and Lady Lauren just relaxing sitting. One having tea in China the other counting money and smiling. This is the greatest picture ever.

All: This is the greatest picture ever. Thank you Anna.

Princess Rose: Is there any thing we can do for you?

Anna: Yes, you can wake up.

All fall down and wake at different times, slowly exiting the stage